One day at a time but holding on

Life has been crazy around here but I think we are all doing well with it. I asked Peter to move out for awhile and he did but I think I have seen him more now than ever before. He is staying with a friend but the only time he is not here is when he is working or sleeping. I'm trying to get over all of this but it is not easy. I'm not sleeping well and I'm getting a cold. (it sucks) the girls are doing well they have their dance recital coming up so they are busy with that. Ben and Luke don't know anything going on they are happy all the time . The house is peaceful without him here really. I find he did more of the fussing and fighting and now that he is not here at night it is nice . I hope in the end things will work out for my family but right now I have to heel my own heart. i don't know what is going to happen but i know God will lead me where i need to go. if anyone has any answer to how it get past all of this and start trusting him again please let me know. truth be told I'm thinking of just being alone for the rest of my life. the only men i need in my life is Ben and Luke. The perfect Man or should i say Men. Are there any good men out there? if there is they are married, 2 years old, or a woman. life just isn't fair.

sorry it been so long

I have not written anything new because I was not sure where to start. You see I didn't know what to say because i was afraid of what people would think of me but you know what i didn't do anything wrong . SO here goes the truth. I'm dealing with something that i never thought I would have too. I always said that if my husband cheated he would be gone but when it really happens there is so much more to deal with. we have four kids , two of them are very young and Kayla has a lot of med. needs. There is just to much to think about . I always thought i would leave and never look back . I wish it could be that easy.I know the girls know whats going on so i hope someday they will understand that whatever I do it was done for them. I just pray that i make the right choice. with that said lets move on, the kids are growing and doing well. We went to Disney world the last week of Jan. They all had a blast and Luke loved the "NemO" show and we road the NEmO ride 5 time in a row. it was a nice trip and a good way to get thing off my mind. Kelsey is ready to go back and I can't lie I would love to be there too. Kelsey will be 11 on the 18 and Ben & Luke will be 2 on the 20 . Time goes by so fast before i know it they will all be grown. I thank God every day for trusting me with these great kids and i hope I am being the mom he wants me to be.

calling all dad's

OK dad's listen up I'm going to say this once, "bathtubs, babies, fingernail polish , and dad's on the call phone are a BIG no no!". After I put the boys in the bath Kayla need to be catheterized so I assumed (which was the fist mistake) that dad could come sit on the floor next to the tub and watch the boys play, Easy enough. Dad did go sit on the floor but was so busy on the cell phone he had no clue what his sons were up to. Some how Luke was able to get out of the tub and into Kelsey makeup bag. Yes you guessed right he found a bottle of HOT PINK polish . He got back in the tub with the polish and started banging it on the side of the tub. It didn't take long for Pete to start screaming to me to get in there now. I'm trying to finish with Kayla and not spill P all over us so I could find out what in the world was going on. . By the time I got in the bathroom Pete had the boys out of the tub and was picking up broken glass. The side of the tub was pink, inside the tub was pink and both boys where covered with pink nail polish. Pete started cleaning up the tub and I tried to clean the boy. Ben did not have to much on him and I Started to think that it was not that bad. Boy O Boy was I wrong. I had to get the polish remover out for Luke. I was doing good the first 5 mins of cleaning him off but then I sit a Big problem. well I'm sure one day he will hope it's a Big problem. His little man part was HOT PINK. Now I don't know much about male parts but I did know enough that i was not going to put polish remover on it. SO , I'm looking at Pete like what the he-- are we going to do, Our son has a Pink PP . He looking at me like I better do something because it not cool having a son with a Hot Pink pp. At this point I just started Laughing and Pete,Ben, and Luke are looking at me like I have lost my mind. Sorry but it was funny pink PP and all. OK well I put the boys in MY bath tub and washed them again the pink PP was still there but it was clean. The next morning all the polish and come off in Luke diaper and all was GOOD again.





P.s. Sorry no pictures but Pete did not seem to think it was as funny as I did and would not let me get the camera

NIGHT NIGHT BYE BYE

I'm not sure when it started but the boys have the craziest bedtime routine. After their bath they brush their teeth and kiss everyone in the house goodnight making sure not to miss anyone. Then we all march down the hall and put Kayla and Kelsey in their room and say goodnight. Luke has to turn off the light and shut the door. Then we continue the march down the hall. Stopping at the end of the hall to kiss the picture of Ariel goodnight and say "nigh nigh Arieee" . then we pick up all the toys and climb in bed. kiss kiss mommie nigh nigh mommie bye bye mommie. It is just to sweet . My one wish for my boys is that they will always be this loving. I know my husband thinks I'm making sissy boys but Love does not make you a sissy. My one wish for my husband is that he will learn from the boys and know it is ok to be more loving. I promise it will make you a better MAN.

Happy New Year

We went to the camp Friday after Christmas and it was so nice to get away from cleaning house and putting away Christmas toys. Friday night we went out to eat and then went back to the camp to let the kids pop some fireworks. Luke was terrified of the popping but Ben was right behind the girls tyring to help. I could not put Luke down and Ben wanted no part of me holding him. Saturday we road into Natchitoches to see the Christmas lights along the river. Luke was worried about the fireworks at first but after a while he thought they were "PRRTY" pretty. Ben was everywhere he went talk to the people on the side of us, in front of us, and tried to get on the tour boat tied to the bank. NO Fears. These picture are from the porch. It is so peaceful here.

Christmas was nice but I did not think it would end. we made it to church Christmas Eve and after church we went to my mom to open gifts with my mom and brothers. Dad is still working in Africa so he did not get to spend Christmas with us. There are 10 grand kids on my side the oldest 14 and the four youngest are 1. It was awesome seeing all of them together. I truly miss holidays at my Mamaws with my cousins. I hope my kids will enjoy each other the way we always did . After we left my mom i thought i would put the kids to bed and get ready for Santa well Kelsey Had other Plans. She was not going to bed until Pete and I did. So we laid in bed until around one then i got up and started putting out Santa stuff. We were doing good and at two we were about to head to bed when Kayla woke up and got Kelsey up. I made them stay in bed until the boys got up because it would not be fair if the did Christmas without the boys. Well that was over when Luke got up at 245 with fever when he saw is tractor he wanted it. Kelsey got Kayla out of bed and they had made it to the living room by then. At that point i went and got Ben up. It was 3:00 am and we were opening christmas presents. they all stayed up until around 4:30 and i put the boys back to bed. The girls put blankets on the floor and stayed in the living room. I went to bed and sleep until 7:30 when to boys got up again. Then is was off to my mom for lunch and then pete's mom after lunch. It was a every nice CHRISTMAS and i am thankful i got to share it with so many people.